Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Resolutions for a Classy Lady

I just closed the cover on what trashionista.com calls the "face of chick lit" : Fielding's Bridget Jones's Diary. The book, for me, was a throw back. In high school, I went through a Jane Austen phase, a three month period where I read Pride & Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Mansfield Park. I also watched the BBC 1995 film adaptation of Persusasian enough times to have Wentworth's last speech engraved on my eardrums:

"Dare not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never inconstant."

For me, Wentworth, not Darcy, is the quintessential Austen hero. While in England I stayed in Bath, the city where Persusian takes place. Standing before a Roman townhouse was a statue of Jane herself, brunette and bonneted just as I imagined her.

Bridget Jones's Diary is undoubtably a nod in Austen's direction. It's in the spirit of Bridget, as well as in the spirit of every Austen heroine (except the annoying ones that spend 10 pages talking about ribbon), that I pen this list of resolutions to aid in my development as A Classy Lady:

will maintain ballerina posture

will refine laughter so sound less like llama

will not vandalize bathroom stalls with mantra "Live, Love, Fuck"

will cease theft from Goodwill

will take calcium supplement

will cease use of word "legit"

will buy less lattes

will buy less, in general

will fit back in size 2 skinny jeans

will get 8 hours of sleep (per night, not per week)

will write or paint every day

while writing or painting, will not open Facebook tab on Firefox

will stop talking in doorways

will stop pretending diet soda is okay

will stop making fun of hipsters

will read more Dostoyevsky

will read less James Patterson

will, at all costs, stop talking like Bob Dylan

will manicure nails

Will use Bath & Body Works products

will watch more black & white movies

will cease pursuit of men who look like Che

These I seal with a kiss.


  1. oh Clare, I love love love your post; I can't stop laughing and smiling.
    Let me say, it's the post of the week for me.
    I go under such phases myself, Amelie phases, Bridget weeks, Juliette Binoche moments, and some serious Bukowski ones... my resolutions usually go down the drain, as they unfortunately tend to change every other month, which I sure hope won't happen to yours. However, you gave me some food for thought... say, how many other people are there actually stuck inside a woman's brains?? Can I be Shakespeare this week, or is it taken? Who else has gone ol'William recently? Oh my, I start sounding like Lucy in Peanuts...

  2. i understand completly!! what i think and feel has a lot to do with what i'm reading or watching or listening to at the time. Right now, the primary characters in my brain are:

    1. bridget
    2. bob dylan
    3. andy warhol
    4. Calvin (from Calvin and Hobbes)
    5. the girl's voice in the arcade fire song "sprawl II"
    6. two yiddish poets, one laughing, one crying
    7. Happy Gilmore

    needless to say, they're all haveing a smashing time :)